I'm not in a good mood today. I can't really put my finger on a specific cause, but I have stomach pains. Not like "oh I hate you Buckles, you made me eat something that will burn worse coming out than going in" or "oh, that shrimp had the consistency of stale oatmeal, this isn't going to end well" but more the "why am I so fucking nervous over nothing" stomach pains. And it's stupid because I don't really have anything to be nervous about. Scratch that, I have absolutely nothing to be nervous about. Being nervous requires anticipation of a future event, and the fear of that situation. I honestly have nothing planned further along than day to day (besides my spa appointment, but that is more of a "fuck yes" than an "oh god no" situation). So, what's up mind and body? What are you trying to warn me about?
It's possible the complete and utter lack of anticipation could be making me nervous. I've never been very good at living in the moment, preferring to look ahead to the future as a way to set goals and not worry about the present. Now that I don't have anything to look forward to, maybe my body is freaking out due to the lack of drive and goals.
I really don't know, but I figured rambling about it might make me feel better. But, I was wrong.
I'll leave you with Ocean's Eleven (the new one, because Sinatra would have never asked this):
"Does he make you laugh?
-He doesn't make me cry."
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